What was the routine every day, did she dress everyone in order? How did she pack all those lunches? Did she know ahead of time each day what her meals would be, and have everything in? She didn't even have a driver's license, so I know there was no running to the store for ingredients or this/that to accompany a meal. I keep wondering about it. Why didn't I pay more attention? I could have been learning and banked up some strategies and tips for now. Too bad I had to be almost 40 before I started to wonder about this stuff. Did she really have everything ready at the same time, hot, and on the table, for 13 people at once, meal after meal, day after day, year after year, or is my memory just rose-colored? Didn't anybody made a documentary of her? Why wasn't National Geographic there filming her as some kind of institutional miracle? Were my older sisters like scullery maids behind her helping? There must be a catch!
What I really want to know is, did she have to plan it all out every day or did she just attack tasks in random order. When did she start the laundry? How many loads did she try to do every day. How did she wash all those diapers? When did she wash the sheets on the beds? Once a week? Once every 2 weeks? What if someone starting throwing up? How did she feed twins, and feed everybody else?
Did she know every second what was coming up next on her list of Things To Do? And how did she squeeze in those 4 pies every week? WHAT? 4 pies? She really did make pies every week.
I want to know, I want to know honestly; I'm craving a Reality Show of my Mom.
She sure as hell wasn't watching Desperate Housewives, though I wonder if she never felt like one. No cleaning lady. No nights out at the theater. No sisters coming to stay for a week after she had a baby. And she certainly wasn't affording herself the leisure of typing a stupid blog every day.
Like a CEO of a large entreprise, she must have had a plan. Didn't she? I keep trying to figure out a way to make everything run more smoothly, to not find myself with nothing in the fridge on Thursday nights, to not have piles of laundry. I only have 2 kids! What the hell is the matter with me? My husband even cooks the meals half the time. I was known to be clever at one point in my life. Get organized, Julie! Think ahead. Plan it out! Why can't I get this show on the road for pete's sake!
I would KILL to turn back the clock 40 years and shadow her for several days, watch, and learn from the master.
Here's to the mother of all mothers, on Mother's Day.
10 comments:
Mom was touched by your tribute, but really doesn't remember all the details. She thinks before she got out of bed in the morning, she thought about what she would make for dinner that night.
But, she doesn't remember having a chore list routine. She just did laundry whenever.
Lisa, being older, remembers she had no scullery maid while she cooked. She did it all by herself, but we took turns doing dishes after the meal.
On weekends, Mom and Lisa remembers cleaning our rooms. Lisa also remembers begrundedly having to clean the boy's room because they got to go help Dad in the gardens.
Lisa also doesn't remember Mom feeding the babies during a meal. She must have fed them in advance of the meal. She called it "demand feeding". Mom remembers feeding them whenever they needed to be fed. Mom is sure sometimes it was during a meal, but she can't remember.
She truly is a marvel!
Mom is a miracle mom that none of us can match! I do know that she said she sometimes fed me twice and Mary not at all, when we were babies, and she ran down to Russins, pregant with P & P, to rescue me from my feisty determination to go with Dad to a game, and plopped Mary in the playpen, until she got back, and then she just collapsed on the couch! An incredible lady! Love you Mom!
I remember Mom was always moving the laundry...that is what she called it "Moving the laundry". The washing machine and the dryer were often going, the changing "table" was a set up on the dryer and the babies loved to be there, with the warmth and rocking. That was the only time (perhaps!) that Mom defied Dad, when he was going to replace the washer with another GE brand from the company store, and she wanted a Maytag (Mom always was a quality brand shopper)...she called Dad at work and told him the washer had broken and she wanted a Maytag this time, and he said no, she told him "Phooey" and hung up. A couple of hours later, there was a knock on the door and a delivery of a Maytag washer.
Yes, the meals were always ready on time!! Home cooked. Delicious. It was a treat (we begged!) to have a cake mix with those confetti pieces in it on our birthdays.
We did help out with dishes and child care, but it never interfered with school activities or extra curricular things like plays, 4H, going to friend's homes, earning money babysitting, etc.
When we started babysitting, it was a real eyeopener as to how the rest of the world lived. Dishes piled up for days in some people's homes (that was a sad home with an alcoholic mom.) Homes not full of activity and people like ours was. Realizing that some moms went out to eat at least once a week, where for mom it was once a year, on their anniversary.
She was an incredible money manager, and planned enough to go shopping once a week at Tippy's. Once someone gave us some of their leftover food surplus things, like flour but I think there were mealy worms in it and that was the end of that. Somehow she did it all.
It is truly amazing to consider it all.
She read to us, and instilled a love of stories, even with all she had to do. And a love of music. Singing Frankie tunes got her through many days I think!
I only remember one day when Mom was mad at Dad and she just left the kitchen in the middle of getting supper on the table, and said she was leaving. I panicked. I was in highschool I think and well aware that things like this could happen. She walked down the hall and out the door. I wasn't sure what I should do, and it took me a minute to decide to go after her. By the time I opened the door, she had reached the mailbox and was already turning back to come back to the house. There may have been other times when she felt like giving up, but that was the only time I ever saw it!!
I think Mom must have had her own mother's example of how to be a CEO of a huge family.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY, MOM!!!! There is good reason that so many people look up to you, most of all, us your children.
Love, SAM
Wow!! This blog post, as well as the comments are a wonderful tribute to your mom! She is a marvel, that Martha Alexander!!!
Julie,
You made me cry....I often wonder much of the same....she did what she did because she didn't have the choices we have today.
A true "wonder woman". Thanks for your wonderful tribute of Mom! I think the SAM comment needs to be added to Mom's book Lisa.
Love, Mary :)
I think of your Mom on a daily basis and wonder "How did she do it?" Not so much how did she get all the work done, although that is mind boggling, but did she do it mentally, emotionally...She's amazing.
Thanks to all for allowing me to read your wonderful accounts of my fantastic mother (I don't do the blog thing...not even sure I just spelled it correctly).
I am not sure I would desribe the boys outdoor chores in such a fashion ("got to go help Dad in the garden."...think 5 gardens, one 110 yards in length).
Regardless, we wouldn't have cleaned the bedroom very well anyways...baseball wrappers all over the floor.
THANKS MOM for ALL you have done for us!
Love
Peter
Thanks for some great stories Julie, and commentors! I agree with all my siblings, we are so lucky. Thanks Mom, you are amazing! Love Wesley Wayne
by the way, happy mother's day to you, too, Madame Ouillade. Your daughters have a lot to be thankful for....
I enjoyed the stroll down memory lane. I certainly remember Joanie on Saturday mornings. She helped orchestrate the cleaning of certain rooms. The girls did "get" to work in the garden too. I remember that the boys also had to be on the rotating dishes detail. Along with all the thing that everyone mentioned, mum also went to church every Sunday and set a moral example for us...not to lie, etc. Happy Mother's day MOM! Thanks Julie for the great blog entry!
xo laura
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