One of the goals of this blog is to illustrate life as a foreigner in France. Today's experience warrants mention.
Off we go to Holiday Party #3 of the weekend this afternoon, at the home of our "nounou", or the nanny/day-care provider who takes care of Estelle two mornings and one day per week. I had made sugar cookies, rolled, cut out with cute American cookie cutters, decorated with red and green colored frosting, etc, carefully layered in Tupperware with waxed paper, done early enough that the frosting had hardened and wasn't sticking to anything. Accompagnied by a lovely bottle of white dessert wine left over from Estelle's baptism (thank you to my in-laws!), well, we were feeling QUITE armed for the occasion. Friday afternoon I had discreetly handed our nounou a photo Christmas card of Estelle (very uncommmon in France and thus a big hit) along with a gift card to the French equivalent of Macy's, Galleries Lafayette. She was very pleased and appreciative.
In short, despite Estelle's recent illness, and my own, I had gotten my act together, done the cards, given the gift, baked the cookies, put on my flashing tree pin, my red pants, my green shirt, my dark lipstick, Thomas shaved, and off we went for an afternoon of champagne and eating Buche de Noel feeling like a little family and VERY glamourous with Estelle in a Prada holiday dress.
There were 4 other children who either are presently or formerly cared for by nounou Kathy, their parents, as well as Kathy and her husband Francois' 3 children. So we were numerous.
My cookies were lovingly placed on a beautiful Limoges platter and handed around the table amidst much reaction and interest as what we take for granted as a decorated holiday cookie is unknown here. Corks popped, flutes foamed with the bubbly, I smugly noticed no one else had brought anything to share and I felt oh-so-in-control.
And then.....
One of the other mother's, who I barely know as Estelle is not even half-time at this joint, reaches across the table and hands Estelle a large wrapped box with her name on it. "Happy Holidays!" croons this stranger as she settles this large box in my and Estelle's lap. You could have knocked me over with a pin. I stammered to say something and then, WHAM, Mother-I-Don't-Even-Know-Her-Name-Number-Two slides an huge squishy wrapped thing over to me and in mounting panic I see "For Estelle, Love Marie" written on it. "Happy New Year!" She beams at us. Thomas is two seats away from me, on the "men's" side of the seating, engrossed in some ridiculous conversation about plumbing. I turn my head and try to give frantic looks but he is clearly captivated by Marie's Dad talking about corrosion or something so I turn back to try and think what to say when... oh no, the Italian woman who is the mother of Carlo pulls brightly-wrapped-box number 3 out of a bag and hollers something at me in Italian and adds to the pile this gift that says "For Esther, from Carlo" She then begins to profusely apologize that she thought Estelle's name was Esther, and it's because Carlo pronounces it with his little Italian accent so she misunderstood my daughter's name. I am totally speechless, saying something assinine like "well, we were going to name her Esther, you know, I love Esther Williams, do you know her, the old star, the swimmer?"
Who the hell knows what I said to that poor woman, babbling on about Esther Williams and Ziegfield follies, jumping between French and English and Italian. Then Kathy herself produces Unexpected Gift Number Quatre for my daughter and I gripped my champagne flute even more tightly. "Um, I am so sorry, but you know, we didn't bring anything for the other children. I didn't know, I'm so sorry, I only brought the cookies...." Suddenly my cookies look pink and not red, the shapes are totally unrecognizable under the frosting, in fact, I now wonder if they don't look a little like pastel Easter Eggs.
Is it the champagne, or is my face red hot with embarrassment? Thomas doesn't even know that I am slowing sinking into despair as he is now subject to a tirade about Sarkozy and the immigration laws.
In the end, I said "Sorry" in about 14 different stupid ways, followed by dumb disclaimers like "You know I'm a foreigner" (like that's not obvious) or equally ridiculous "oh what a wonderful French custom I didn't know about yet" or then "Thomas is French, he should have told me" when I started to grasp at straws. Of course they were all incredibly gracious and all responded with "don't you give it another thought" or "it doesn't matter" or even worse "your cookies are delicous".
Groan.
Kathy's husband took pity on me and refilled my champagne twice during this moment which felt sort of like a public stoning except I inadvertently was the one throwing the stones at myself.
Lordy. The capper was when Kathy went and dug out an enormous handled shopping bag to use to cart all Estelle's ill-earned loot home in.
Note to self- when you go to a "Gouter de Noel" with kids, bring a gift for every damn kid in the place. Period. Forget the cookies.
On another note, here is a video of Estelle from this morning, before her mother brought shame on the family's good name later in the day.