A decade appears too big a word, yet, it is true. One quarter of my life has now been lived without my father.Some people in my life here have been faced this year with a diagnosis of cancer for one of their parents. I always feel like I am getting punched in the stomach. I see the whole unfurling of the process in my memory, the stages of ups, downs, remission, hoping, doctors, treatments, bottles of pills and special diets, denial, forgetting, and the crippling moment if you find out it is back, again.
As his obituary says, Dad handled his cancer with formidable grace and spirit.
Today my mother and siblings will gather in Vermont for a memorial mass at our church, brunch at my sister's and after a "work bee" in the cemetery around his own grave and others that need attention. The way he would have wanted - productivity, have something to show for yourself at the end of the day. As a historian and genealogist, he certainly was always looking into the past, but never with tears and sorrow and so we try and follow his example - not easy shoes to fill. 
6 comments:
It's hard to believe it's been 10 years.
Even though today will be bittersweet, we're looking forward to seeing everyone. It's raining like crazy, so I wonder if the cemetery work will be postponed.
We'll be thinking of you and knowing that you are wishing you could be here.
Julie, your father was always proud of you.
we had a wonderful day Jules - and Darlene was right - the rainy weather caused us to have to postpone any graveyard work. Dad would have approved, though, of just gathering, remembering, eating, and laughing.
Thanks for the nice tribute!
Love,
Mary :)
We had a very nice day commemorating Dad.
The priest did a great job at the mass in Irasburg. Made mention of dad several times.
Brunch at Joan's was delicious with great conversation.
The cemetery time was just remembering Dad at his gravesite. Too wet to do any work.
A very special day indeed.
Julie, thank you for all of the beautiful blog photos of Dad and Steeplebush.Sniff, Sniff. Spoke with Mary's friend, who also goes to her church, and she said they are all grieving the selling of Steeplebush as well, as they hope it could be used for church families, retreats etc. That home touched many lives. Because I missed the memorial yesterday, I am going up on Friday, to deliver Grandma Stones bed frame back to Joanies and will go visit Dad's grave, and clean up around it, if not raining!!! Love, Mart
I remember thinking how will our family ever live without Dad...How will it be possible?
Thank you for the poignant words, love, laura
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